That 90s Show: Desolation Hatchback!
by Wexamillion Major
Summary: In this installment of That 90s Show, Homer recounts of what "really" happened during their "year" as first an Harmony-laden R&B group known as Dudes II Brothas, and then as the Guitar Rock Utilizing Nihilist Grunge Energies band SADGASM, shortly after returning from being aboard U.S.S. Farragut from two weeks to a month of hell after Enterprise-D crashed on Veridian III!
1. That 90s Disclaimer

What up, dudes? This is Homer Jebidiah Simpson. The narrator for tonight's classic installment of That 90s Show. Wex would be here tonight, but since this is a Special FanFic Episode, he requested of me to tell you this 'story' of what 'really' happened during my time as both an R&B group Dudes II Brothas and the Grunge Trailblazer SADGASM! Both him and I don't own a damn thing except this fanfic that was made a long time ago, but never got the chance to show its colors until now. And to take note, That 90s Show's premises takes place around when? The 1990s. When both him and I were at the top of our game. When Wex, I, Lenford Leonard, Carlton Carlson, Morris Syzslak (who didn't have an ugly face back then due to plastic surgery), Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, Eric Cartman, Kenneth McCormick, Jonas Zebeth, Lucien Sanchez & Thornton Reed were a part of a band of jolly friends named: The Here & Now Gang. Tonight's episode will feature _only_ the Original Members of the Gang as we recount the events of...like I said...what 'really' happened during the 'year' when both bands Dudes II Brothas and SADGASM dominated the airwaves and when my ex-wife, Marge and the kids, Bart and Lisa were staying at Springfield Place Apartment Complex in the Springfield District at the Urban Playgrounds and when Marge attended Springfield University to make all-googly-eyes at some smooth-talking Professor who taught the radically Feminist Revisionist History class named Stefane August. But that's not the Best Part...the Big Tamale is...actually like what Wex does in the other FanFic Episodes, is the interviews-in-the-fanfic involving Wex, myself, Lenny, Carl, Moe, Louis "Lou" Stubbs, my ex-wife Marge, Stefane August, and others...

So Homey, be purely amazed by the pure '90s nostalgia That 90s Show has to offer. I bet by now you're probably enjoying listening your Walkman while guzzling down a glass bottle of Jolt Cola while watching the movie version of Mortal Kombat!

I sincerely hope that you are amazed by the fanfic!


	2. Intro & A Pissed-Off Wex at Spacedock

[Begin Intro Sequence]

I am Wex Major, entrepreneurial superstar, dream weaver, visionary, plus actor.

You're about enter a world of pure '90s nostalgia...

You are watching...THAT '90S SHOW!

[An instrumental version of Geto Boys' _"Six Feet Deep"_ plays]

[adult swim] presents

A Wex Major Production

In Association with FanFiction Box Office

That '90s Show

[Wex fights against an old Class D-12 Klingon Bird-of-Prey aboard the _Enterprise-D_ ]

Starring Joe Bost as Wex Major

[Homer "rocks it out" as the Front Man of SADGASM]

Dan Castellaneta as Homer Simpson

[Lenny chows down on a Heart of Targ hot dish]

Harry Shearer as Lenford "Lenny" Leonard

[Moe and Carl are "downing" a couple of beers]

Hank Azaria as Carlton "Carl" Carlson/Morris "Moe" Syzslak

[Stan and Cartman try to chow down on Cheesy Poofs]

Trey Parker as Stanley "Stan" Marsh/Eric "Cartman" Theodore

[Kyle and Kenny fend off against Dr. Tolian Soran on the Armagosa Observatory]

Matt Stone as Kyle Broflovski/Kenneth "Kenny" McCormick

[Jonas Zebeth pilots a Federation shuttlecraft into an ion storm like a fighter pilot]

Garth Marenghi as Jonas Geemer Zebeth

[Sanch blows through a Vortex blockcade on the planet Cassandra III in the Romulan Neutral Zone]

Todd Rivers as Z. Lucien Sanchez

[Reed tries to convince a caller to tell him that he don't run a massage parlor]

Dean Learner as G. Thornton Reed

[All of the Here & Now Gang gather for a photo shot]

Created, Produced & Directed by Joe Bost

[Music ends. End Intro Sequence]

* * *

Whuzz up, Brothas, Homer Simpson here, Wex _sorta_ has the night off on this story, but it does feature him in several parts of the fanfic and the interviews as well... It sorta starts back in '89 after Bart was born and we moved into Springfield Place Apartments at the Springfield District (Springfield Replica, basically, but with an ocean beach and Springfield University) in the Urban Playgrounds before I met Wex at Tom's Diner in '90. Then, when Lisa came into this world, her talents with things like her first Saxophone didn't _ever_ came from my loins! And in '94, after the _Enterprise-D_ went down at Veridian III, Wex, I, and the rest of the Here & Now Gang spent two weeks to a month of hell aboard one of the ships that rescued us after Wex sent the S.O.S. Call from his combadge after removing its casing on Veridian III. So here we are, at Spacedock above Earth's orbit in the Baggage Claim after that ship docks:

Homer Simpson: Yo, Wex! I just got a call from Launchpad McQuack and he wants us to experiment with a hot prospect at Groovetone Records- -

Wex Major: Yeah, great, fine, whatever! I tell ya Homie, my flight aboard the _Farragut_ was a fucking nightmare, man. My retarded train table broke and I ended up with a gallon of hot Campbell's soup in my crotch, kinda like dunking my wang in hot lava! Sounds like something that Darth Vader's had some experience with, right?

Homer [laughing, sarcastically]: Yeah, I guess.

Wex [sarcastically laughs with him]: Yea-ha-ha!

Homer [points to a black striped bag]: Uh, Wex, is that yours?

Wex [pissed off, obviously]: NO, FOR THE THOUSANDTH TIME, THAT'S NOT MY BAG. IT'S THAT SAME, STUPID BLACK BAG. MINE DOESN'T HAVE TWO STRIPES! It's like that damn stripy bag's mocking me. [flicks the bag the Finger] FUCK YOU, STRIPY BAG! [he realizes that he's S.O.L.] Well, my suitcase's gone! Sacrifice to the Spacedock Guards! Now I'm here for a Yearly Prospect for Groovetone Records and for a little R & R for a year or two in one fucking uniform which is now sticking to me like a wet Kleenex! [both Homer and Wex take a quick look at some surf board that looked... _funky,_ in a way] Wow, for real!

So Wex went to the Spacedock Gift Shop and he then peeled off his soup-soaked Starfleet uniform to only feel sort of embarrassed, but oddly enough, no one was looking. Lucky for him:

Wex [embarrassed like hell]: Uhh, I'd just be killing myself then...

DESOLATION HATCHBACK!


End file.
